June 10, 2008 Ship's Log "Pirate Night"

Prior to leaving port, a few foreboding signs: First, a serious terror, the spinnaker was torn about 8 feet.... Second, a worse terror, the sultry Irish Pirate Queen "Knife in the Water" came driftin' in on the sou'westerlies and boarded our vessel. Both signs bode ill for the Temptress, and what bodes ill for the Temptress bodes ill for us all!


Weather: Sunny, with a few clouds, wind 10 knots, 58 degrees

Crew: Jenny "Knife in the Water" Burgess, Cap'n Tom, Maria, Andrea, Dread Pirate Red (First Mate), Scott, Davey, Pirate Jocelyn "the One-Eyed Threat", Pirate Raven Ember

Inventory: 2 bottles o'rum, 48 beers, 1 bottle Vitamin Water, half bottle of white wine

Notes:
Sails up at 6:52, the wenches went below deck to put on proper pirate dress (except Jenny, who felt less was better than more when it comes to dress). We were first to cross the start line, and the Temptress kept her steady pace in first place passin' all the scurvy dogs what want to call themselves Pirates on their little Jolly-boats! As she headed north, three wenches sat on the foredeck splicing the mainbrace, as it were, when one addlepate let her weapon fall overboard! It'll be the cat o' nine tails for her!
Cap'n ordered the Temptress to turn back for the weapon, as he rightly should. As the Temptress approached the sword, Pirate Raven and Pirate Burgess were over the larboard side reaching.... it slipped through Raven's fingers, and Pirate Burgess, the saucy Irish wench, went overboard for the sword! She were barely hanging on the ship what with one leg wrapped around a life line, her head plunged deep into the black water.... and next, sure as the sun sets, the wind was doing the devil's bidding because it blew up Pirate Burgess's skirt and that be a sight to see! Davey and Raven ran to pull Pirate Burgess's face out o' the water, and she screamed "THE SWORD FIRST! SAVE THE SWORD FIRST!"

Aye....no landlubber is she! She be a real pirate!

There be lots of harassment and threats o' boarding the rest o' the race, but all the cowardly dogs high tailed it away from the Temptress when they heard the threats:

"Give us ya RUM and ya WOMEN, or it'll be Kissing the Gunner's Daughter For You!"
"We'll Keelhaul any Bilge-sucking Blaggard that fails to have Rum aboard his vessel when we board!"
"you'll be dancing with Jack Ketch you poxy Tar!"
"You Cowardly Dooooooog! You addlepate!"

The Temptress finished the race at 7:45 in fourth place. True we would have been first if we hadn't had to rescue a weapon that fell overboard....punishments are due to that scurvy swab who loses sight o' her weapon!

After the race, wenches on deck shouting a chanty:
Yo-ho-yo-ho a Pirates life for me!
We pillage, we plunder, we Rifle, we loot!
Drink up me hearties yo-ho!
We kidnap and scavage and don't give a hoot!
Drink up me hearties yo-ho!
Yo- ho- yo- ho a pirates life for me!

Raft up: "The Lure o' the Rum"
We, by then we were pretty drunk so there's not much the log can reflect but a few choppy notes. There were being a lot o' kissin' wenches, lots o' shots o' rum. And there be some vague memory of almost not making it back to the Temptress as she drifted away. There were saucy wenches dancing to a fine beat on something that looked like a boat but was missing a mast...The raft up was covered with lots of scurvy pirates and so much caution was needed to keep one's booty safe. There be some time spent on Twisted Journey that the Quartermaster only remembers because she has a photo of it and a card stuffed down her bra the next morning....and finally there be a vague memory of a shot of rum that tasted like butterscotch on the dreamscape.